LP Review: Crayons
Released: 2008
LP Charts: #5 R&B, #17 pop
After 17 long years, Donna Summer finally returned for another album in 2008. Since she unfortunately died of cancer in 2012, this would prove to be her final release.
The good news is that her voice hasn’t suffered whatsoever over the years. The bad news is that pop music production had suffered over the years. I am admittedly a huge hater of 2000s and 2010s production on dance music. So keep that in mind as I discuss Crayons, which is surprisingly as varied as a Crayola box of the coloring tools.
The opening “Stamp Your Feet” is appropriately loud and thunderous given the title. Still gets kind of annoying, though. “The Queen Is Back” is a bit quieter and features a lot of clever callbacks to Summer’s previous hits like “On the Radio” and “Love to Love You Baby”. The title track is a reggae duet with Ziggy Marley while “Fame (The Game)” hauls in a grungy rock riff to little positive effect. Like I said, lots of musical variety, even if the production largely instills that soulless mixing ubiquitous in this era of music.
I cannot express enough appreciation for “Sand on My Feet” because it’s a quiet, mostly acoustic number. I know, I know. I’ve always preferred dancing Donna over slow tune Donna, but in the new millennium, dance music generally sucks. So going the soft route is welcome.
From that point forward, the album begins to find its footing after a really perilous first five songs. Summer follows “Sand” by throwing in another curve ball with the samba “Drivin’ Down Brazil”.
“I’m A Fire” is the closest we’ve gotten to Summer’s classic euro-disco techno since 1979’s Bad Girls. Yes, I gave it a standing ovation and not simply for nostalgia. Its production is mercifully easy on the ears. You can still easily dance to this, but the bombast of “Stamp Your Feet” is nowhere to be found.
And this track hit #1 on the dance charts in 2008. Strut your stuff, Donna.
Abruptly, we go from the Hi-NRG future to the dusty roads of Mississippi with the slide guitar blues of “Slide Over Backwards”. Yep, Donna Summer does the blues. With a slide guitar. And a harmonica. The execution is off, but I can respect the audacity.
“Be Myself Again” is one of those deep, quiet introspective ballads only a music legend can write and perform. And it’s a heavy tune about confidence, or lack thereof, wanting to please others, and finding one’s self.
Cause you could spend your life
Looking for your own reflection
Time could blur the lines
Between what’s real and what’s projected
Had I known what I lost
What I gained, what it’d cost
I’d still give what remains
To be myself again
After that splendid piano ballad, we get the Afropop of “Bring Down the Reign” and more electronic dance music with the Daft Punk imitation “It’s Only Love”. The former is okay and I really like the latter, but “Be Myself Again” should have been the album closer. Who the hell sequenced this thing?
ALBUM GRADE: C
The first third of this album is really rough, but commencing with “Sand On My Feet” the project is at least respectable and sometimes pretty good. I know not a ringing endorsement, but as I often advocate, a smart producer would have capped this album at 40 minutes tops and thus produced a much more enjoyable experience. Not mind-blowing, but enjoyable.
Anyways, things could have gone much worse for Summer on her final album which gave her first top 10 R&B and top 20 pop album since She Works Hard for the Money some 25 years earlier.
Song Scores
Stamp Your Feet: 6/10
Mr. Music: 3/10
Crayons: 5/10
The Queen is Back: 4/10
Fame (The Game): 3/10
Sand on My Feet: 6.5/10
Drivin’ Down Brazil: 6.5/10
I’m A Fire: 7/10
Slide Over Backwards: 5/10
Science of Love: 6/10
Be Myself Again: 7/10
Bring Down the Reign: 5/10
It’s Only Love: 7.5/10