LP Review: Once Upon A Time...
Released: 1977
LP Charts: #13 R&B, #26 pop
Cinderella on the Dance Floor.
That’s my alternate title for Once Upon A Time…, which is basically Donna Summer, Giorgio Moroder, and Pete Bellotte transporting the glass slipper lass into the discos of the 1970s.
One can easily see where this could musically go wrong in other hands, but Summer was totally into it. Moroder, Bellotte, and she co-wrote every song here ensuring there would be narrative cohesion. Plus there’s a natural conversation between nightclub goers and Cinderella. Folks bust their ass all week working just for a few hours every weekend to party down and enjoy themselves. Furthermore, there’s a whole “gay folks coming outta the closet” subtext to this album that will be quite easy to see once we get to certain songs.
And let me just tell y’all right now this is Summer’s best overall album—a double album in fact!—and probably her most ambitious. Even had the pretension to call the sides of the album “acts” to let you know this was a disco opera.
SIDE 1
The album kicks off with the ominous “Once Upon A Time” that sets the table for the entire LP and gets right to the (unintended?) queer subtext of being closeted and afraid.
Once upon a time, Her hopes had died
No one there to hear, Her futile cries
Living in a house of stone, No one on her side
Family in name alone, No place left to hide
The depressing tone continues on “Faster and Faster to Nowhere” which has male bass vocals telling our protagonist she’s on “a trip to nowhere”. The tone finally lightens up on “Fairy Tale High” which promises that “glitter can turn to gold”. However, that was only a respite of hope. “Say Something Nice” gets back to the grit as Summer begs her tormentors to stop bullying her and instead give her a little respect. To wit, “Say that you like me just the way I am.”
Every song on Side 1 segues right into the next making a coherent musical product. What isn’t “coherent” is that Summer’s vocals are wildly different on each song. And that’s a good thing! On “Once Upon A Time” her voice is husky for the most part as she assumes the role of narrator laying out the terrible situation for the unloved girl. On “Faster and Faster to Nowhere” she has a tough delivery emanating straight from her chest that is interspersed with panicked spoken asides where she demands help and an escape from the mania. On “Fairy Tale High” her voice sounds higher than normal, as if it were injected with helium. The funky “Say Something Nice” has a mostly pleading delivery with a hint of angered frustration.
SIDE 2
Okay, this is my favorite side of the double album because this is the electronica side. On her previous album, I Remember Yesterday, Summer shook up the pop world with “I Feel Love”. But that was just one song; just under six minutes of trance dance music. Now she gives us three songs and 17 minutes of that revolutionary sound. Furthermore, each song has its own feel showing that electronic music need not emote the same thing… and in fact could emote.
“Now I Need You” as the title suggests is a desperate plea for love and comfort. “Working the Midnight Shift” has a little more bite to it and goes back to a Summer favorite: praising hard working women of the world.
Best of the trio, though, is “Queen For A Day”. Yep, definitely a song for the drag queens. With the first two electronica songs serving as lamentations, this one gives some power to our dear Cinderella. The song begins deep in the depths of electronic music that is far livelier than the preceding two songs, but 2/3 of the way through it totally explodes into a flowering of Philly Soul style disco. It’s like the moment she met the fairy godmother, who decides to grace her with a hip pair of threads to show off in front of everyone else who didn’t have to work the midnight shift like her.
Although this song concludes Side 2 of the album it sets up Side 3, because our belle is now ready for the ball (disco dance floor) to find a man.
SIDE 3
Well, the weakest side of the double album has arrived. It’s still good though!
The strutting “If You Got It Flaunt It”—yet another song for all the drag queens out there—finds our heretofore timid and desperate singer now the imperious queen of the ball. “A Man Like You” is a nice soul ballad. Not the slightest pretension to being a dance song. Just Summer belting about her prince charming that she met at the ball. “Sweet Romance” is of a similar concept, but delivers the message in a funkier fashion. Ditto for “Dance Into My Life”. Maybe that’s why I find this side the weakest. It’s basically the same message over and over.
SIDE 4
Okay, so side 4 has yet more love songs, but man are they delivered in top-notch fashion.
“Rumour Has It” belongs right at home in the gossiping hallways of a high school as Summer hears about prince charming searching for that mystery girl he met at the ball. The backup singers even sing and clap their hands like they are cheerleaders. This song also has a catchy electric guitar hook that pops up now and then.
We finally get the climax of the album with “I Love You”. The sentiment is as old and simple as pop music gets, but this performance is what makes it great. Summer again belts at the top of her lungs, the orchestration is lush, and whoever that drummer is deserves a raise.
Unfortunately being a double album, there gets to be a little padding. “I Love You” should have been the album closer, but we have “Happily Ever After,” which is fine, but you don’t need it after “I Love You”. Even more superfluous is a spoken reprise of “Once Upon A Time”. I woulda preferred if they had just done an extended version of “I Love You”. Make that song 10 minutes long if need be.
ALBUM GRADE: A-
I approach double albums with a healthy dose of skepticism, but for Once Upon A Time… to keep up such a high standard across all four sides merits my appreciation.
And it of course went gold for Miss Summer. Her fifth consecutive gold record. Even more amazing, the ENTIRE double album hit #1 on the disco charts. As a reminder, the disco charts did not measure sales of disco music, but play of music in disco clubs.
Song Scores
Once Upon A Time: 7.5/10
Faster and Faster to Nowhere: 7.5/10
Fairy Tale High: 7.5/10
Say Something Nice: 7/10
Now I Need You: 8/10
Working the Midnight Shift: 8/10
Queen For A Day: 9/10
If You Got It Flaunt It: 6/10
A Man Like You: 7.5/10
Sweet Romance: 7/10
Dance Into My Life: 6.5/10
Rumour Has It: 8/10
I Love You: 9/10
Happily Ever After: 7/10